Hanging Fire Reflection...

When my professor first handed out the poem "Hanging Fire" I would of never thought in a million years that it would consist of what it turned out to be. Hanging Fire is an incredible poem who was written by the writer, Audre Lorde. I personally have never heard of her until this very poem but since reading this poem I would totally consider reading more of her stuff. My thoughts on this poem are mixed. When I first read this poem I really thought that it was a suicide note and that this girl was going to commit suicide at the end but I do not believe that happened. The ending really has more of a cliffhanger feel to it and we really don't know what happens in the end. The final stanza is,

I have nothing to wear tomorrow

will I live long enough

to grow up

and momma's in the bedroom with the door closed

This was how the poem ended. Now you tell me what you think? What do you think the author meant by saying that, " I have nothing to wear tomorrow will I live long enough?" In my opinion, I believe that this child was and is suffering from severe neglect and from sever loneliness. I think that she at such a young age is the outcast of the family. It really seems like she is saying that she has not had a role model or even a parent in her life that she can truly look up to and truly call friend. When she says, 

I have to learn to dance 

in time for the next party

my room is too small for me

suppose I die before graduation

they will sing sad melodies 

but finally

tell the truth about me...

I was really challenged by this poem it makes me think really about my life and how blessed I am to have loving parents that take care of me and that love me unconditionally. It makes me think of all the homeless people even here in Lakeland, FL that a lot of times myself included, we shrug them off thinking they just want to buy drugs or alcohol. This poem whether this is what Audre meant by it still spoke to my life personally and really showed me that there are a lot of fourteen year old boys and girls that are crying out to us for help. They are asking that we just care, that we just give a simple smile, that we just give a simple hug. So along with me lets go out and think of what we can do better to help those who are really in need not only in Lakeland, FL but to the ends of the earth.

To a Daughter Leaving Home...

I read a poem which is called To a Daughter Leaving Home and as I read this my mind began to ponder on what it will be like when I have a daughter and for whatever reason she has to leave home. This poem talks about a woman's daughter who is riding a bicycle and who just keeps on riding but never stops. The mother lets her keep going. What causes a question in my mind was within this poem the mom at the end waves goodbye to her without a care in the world. It really confuses me and just really don't know what to think about it. I think in todays culture the daughters are getting out too early which causes them to sin and in this story the daughter seems really young. I'm sure this is meant to be a poem for lets say a college girl, but it also could be meant for someone younger. In the poem it says, "I kept waiting for the thud of your crash as I sprinted to catch up, while you grew smaller, more breakable with distance, pumping, pumping for your life..." These few lines confuse me because I wanna think that the mom cares but at the same time if the mom really cared she would've kept going until she caught up with the daughter. I view this as being something where the mom is letting her daughter go but yet at the same time who would let their daughter leave home at eight years old?

Getting Lost in Music

Within "Sunny's Blues" one main theme that I loved was how he used Music to be a getaway. When he was facing a problem or when he was in pain emotionally, he always went to music. I can really and strongly relate to this because when I am facing a problem or difficulty, I love to go sit down and play piano. I go write a song or even when I am angry, I go play drums and really take my anger out on them because honestly no one knows. I think music is a big part of this story because it really brought the brothers together in the end. As I read this story it really clicked with me that I am not the only who goes to music to get away from problems such as family problems, relationship problems, school problems, the list could go on and on. In this lifetime we as Christians and even non Christians face so many problems growing up. Not many people are blessed with a good family or even blessed financially and as they go those tough times in life God should be the only get away but for some unsaved people and even saved people; music is a great way to get a away from your problems and just sit down, relax, and just listen to good music that will calm you in your time of struggle. I looked up music on dictionary.com and the definition of music is, an art of sound in time that expresses ideas and emotions in significant forms through the elements of rhythm, melody, harmony, and color. As I read this it really confirmed what I am trying to convey here in this blog. As we live our lives my prayer is that we never forget how important music is to us as humans. Even within "Sunnys Blues" it really brought the brothers together and as they bonded through music maybe this could even work for us. Maybe music will be the bonding point for brothers to become friends again, for relationships to be mended again, just for life to become one. Music is a very important tool that sometimes we take advantage of. Maybe it is time we begin to show our love for music and begin to apply it to our every day lives beginning today?

A Woman's Cry from the 13th Floor

This is a poem that I decided to write trying to think of how the woman from "The Woman on the 13th Floor" was feeling. I picture her in a place of confusion. I can picture her in a place of just not really knowing what to do. The number 13 has really become a significant number for death and for destruction. We think of Friday the 13th, and so many more movies out there with the number 13 meaning death and for some odd reason this woman is hanging from the 13th floor and to me, I wrote this poem thinking of how she was feeling....

Who I Am

Does anyone care to know who I am
because I can't find myself
does anyone hear my cry
because no one is answering it
does anyone care about me
because I feel so lonely and depressed
and at this point
I guess nothing else matters
because I may never know
who I really am

So thats some thinking into what she may have been feeling or questions that she may have had while she was on the 13th floor of loneness. This could apply to us as well. Because sometimes in life we all get to a point where we feel like this and where were on the 13th floor of our life sometimes we need to take a deep breath and get back on the 12th floor and follow the way the God has set out for us.

Poem "Hills Like White Elephants"

For this post I decided to take the place of the girl who is going to get an abortion and doesn't really know what to do. She's confused and is at a state of struggle. I thought I would get in her shoes and explain how she would of been feeling at that time...

When your at a point of decision

and all you feel is lonliness

what else is there to do? 

Your so afraid to do anything wrong again

but yet it seems like thats all I ever do

The emptiness overwhelms you 

and the fear surrounds you

But when your at the point of torment 

all you want to say is goodbye 

and when its finally over 

it only made matters worse

- Brock 

So I wrote that just trying to get into her shoes and the feeling she was feeling and just as she was at a point where she didn't know anything this is what I was thinking that she would be thinking. 

Music - Sonny's Blues

In the Novel Sonny's Blues there was a key phrase that instantly grasped my attention. This key phrase said, "All I know about music is that not many people ever really hear it. And even then, on the rare occasions when some opens within, and the music enters, what we mainly hear, or hear corroborated, are personal, private, vanishing evocations"(Baldwin 409). Now as I read this the main reason it grasped my attention is because I love music and I really think that sometimes, people truly just listen to songs and think of them as nothing. Or when they do think about it it is never really meaningful. But as I read what was stated in Sonny's Blues I really did not know what evocations meant. So I looked it up on dictionary.com and come to find out it means an act or an instance of evoking; a calling forth. As I looked it up I could really come to terms with what the narrator was saying in this story. He was saying that when people listen to music they only really look deeper into the song when they hear a word that reminds them of what they are going through or they hear a phrase that their ex used to say to them or something that triggers passion, or hurt, or even joy. Sometimes as listeners we can become so immune to just listening to a song and letting it go right through our ears when in reality the writer is really trying to grasp our attention and show us that there is true meaning in the song and in the words that are in it. So that to me is what he meant when he said that phrase. I hope this helps and again next time you listen to a song or even a worship song; listen harder and really focus on the incredible lyrics that were written for us to hear and to experience along with the writer himself.

My Legacy

When you think of a legacy what do you think of? Do you think of someone's life? Do you think of how they lived there life? Or do you think of what they did wrong through their life? Well when I hear the word legacy, I think of someone who impacted lives in ways that are unexplainable! For example I had a friend names John D'Amico and I had the great honor of playing drums with him back at my old church in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. John had cancer but through it all kept playing Piano. Through his process of having cancer John kept up his faith. Never stopped trusting God and fought till the end. But on January 1st 2010 John went home to be with the Lord. He impacted my life in ways that I cannot even explain! He will be forever missed but I hope that in my life you can see some of his. For me, when I look back on my life here on this Earth there is one thing I want people to remember me by. I want to be remember by being a worshipper. Worship is my passion and there honestly is nothing like leading people into the presence of God! I play drums and through drumming I help lead people into God's presence. I want people to be able to see my life and know that he loved to worship. I want to give myself completely and abandoned to God and want Him to be the center of my life. I believe that if He is the center of my life then everything else will fall into place. I have done many things that I regret in my life but through God's amazing grace we can be forgiven of those. So if I were to be asked how do you want to be remember here on this Earth when my time comes to pass? My answer would be that I would hope people say that Brock McGraw was a true worshipper in every way but most of all in his heart.